Producer: Fox Studios
Writers: Simon Kinberg, Jeremy Slater, Josh Trank, Stan Lee, Jack Kirby
Director: Josh Trank
Featuring: Miles, Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, Tony Kebbell and Reg E. Cathey
Release date: Out Now

The Fantastic Four movie has already received much critical scorn, and much of it is justified. Which is unfortunate, because each of us dies a little whenever a comic book movie fails. Although the Fantastic Four is being compared to Batman and Robin TV series, unlike that ultra-childish fare, Fantastic Four at least attempts to stay serious. But make no mistake, the target audience for Fantastic Four is still very young.

Despite the wealth of good comic book material for a Fantastic Four movie, this film ignores it mostly and takes, some would argue, a great liberty with many basic details. Artistic license is welcome, but the effort is ultimately wasted in FF. Worse, the ‘artist license’ alterations don’t add anything to the story or the characters.

The origin sequence in Fantastic Four feels like an over-extended montage. Obligatory scenes like putting on space suits are de rigueur. Wasted moments? Plenty. Pacing? It takes 45 minutes before the actual origin event occurs. Even that would have been fine if The Fantastic Four took the time to develop the characters in some meaningful and connective way with the audience.

Instead Fantastic Four themselves are advanced as well as a Saturday morning cartoon. Reed (Miles Teller) is a nerd, Sue (Kate Mara) is an ice queen, Johnny (Michael B. Jordan) is a reckless liar and Ben (Jaimie Bell) is Lennie Small to Reed’s George Milton in Steinbeck’s Of Mice And Men, following Reed around like a puppy. Victor (Tony Kebbell) is supposed to be intense but just comes off as petulant for no apparent reason, other than script direction.

In Fantastic Four the dialogue is often painful. Opportunities for people to say something interesting, are, instead replaced with lines both trite and moronic: “Let’s do this.” “Reed, I think we should go back.” “We can’t change the past but we can change the future.” And the memorable, “Victor, don’t do this.”

The animal that closest resembles The Fantastic Four is an octopus: Everything is squishy. Individual characterizations, plot lines, the conflict, relationships, motivations and villain all bring to mind the cephalopod mollusc. It’s not until the very end of the movie that it feels like people are doing things for actual reasons.

Devoid of fun and suspense, the movie means nothing and stands for nothing. There are no lessons to be learned and no emotions to feel. The best that can be said for this incarnation of Fantastic Four is: it ended, the credits rolled and we could all escape back into our own lives.

Some of us will ask the question: How could a studio get this so wrong? Others may well be thinking: Three strikes and The Fantastic Four are out of here!

Reviewer: Joe Lovece
Reviews Editor: Steve Hooker